I’ve been doing ok this week. I did yoga. Spent some time with the family yesterday doing sciency things. Then I had 2.5 glasses of wine (which for me is sadly a huge improvement). I had my last art class which gave me some great ideas for projects to work on. I have a sweater pattern I am excited to knit. I have about 3 other yarn projects waiting for me as well as several books I really want to read. I have no lack of things to do…

So WHY do I choose to sit outside chainsmoking and refreshing the fuck out of Facebook and Instagram? There is NOTHING interesting there. NOTHING. And, much like scarfing down an entire bag of chips, it feels good for a bit, then you feel sick and very guilty. And also stupid. Same shit.

Ironically, I was just scrolling through Instagram (at work) and saw a book I’d like to read. And I got that feeling of excitement I get when I see a book that interests me. And then I remember how much time I waste.

I’ve been listening to the Russel Brand book, Recovery – Freedom From Our Addictions. I think he is highly intelligent and entertaining but I can only take him in small doses because he is… A LOT. I saved the following quote the other day which aligns with today’s complaint.

“How much time have have I given over to watching TV or staring out of windows, or pursuing pointless relationships, or looking at my twitter mentions. Those hours all add up and are sadly deducted from the overall life total. They are not a break from life, these ‘harmless’ distractions. They are life. They are life and they are death.”

I would like to have that as the background of my phone. Actually… that is a do-able thing. The screen time counter on my phone is terrifying to look at. Granted I listen to a lot of podcasts, books, and music while I’m working on projects… and that counts right? I have no idea. But the fact is, a good amount of my time is spent WASTED looking at other people’s boring shit on Facebook. I’ve taken breaks from Facebook successfully and went to Instagram instead. I find it to be less harmful and time consuming and actually a little bit motivating and inspiring.

Anyway… as HORRIFYING as it is to share this, I am posting screen shots below of my usage. Holy shit. I am mortified. My phone has become a full time job. I’m wondering if it will be offering benefits.

Clearly my cute theory about podcasts, audiobooks, and music does not apply here. This is mostly stupid, useless Facebook.

So, needless to say, I will be keeping an eye on this as I continue on my peregrination to better well-being.