If you’re not a tarot nerd, this card might alarm you. But when I drew it today I started to laugh. It’s perfect.

This is the whole reason I’m writing here. I am desperately trying to end this cycle of numbing and apathy and laziness; Living in a half -life due to alcohol, depression, self sabotage, and binge eating. I’m trying to turn this ship around.

I can’t do everything all the time and be there for everyone at all of the times and go to all of the things and still do my job, care for my family, get sleep, eat normally, and generally decompress. Decisions have to be made about what is in my best self-interest to continue with. I will be clearer with people who use my tendency to go with the flow to their advantage. I have to shed some things in order to move forward.

The Death card kind of gave me the feeling that the energy of the universe – or whatever you want to call it – has my back.