Day 9 of the sugar detox and I’m feeling good. I finally got that allergy situation under control and I’m back to feeling the positive effects of this detox. I still do not have more energy. Low energy has ALWAYS been a problem for me. ALWAYS. Yes, I have chronic, clinical (aka Major) depression and yes I take meds for it. Yes, I have my thyroid checked every year and while I’m on the cusp, meds are not necessary. AND For the record, yes, I’ve tried them and they made me very shaky.

My theory about my energy problem? I’m a night person forced to live a daytime life. I used to joke about this but it’s the only thing that makes sense to me.

Throughout my adult life I have been trying desperately to appreciate the beauty of daytime. And trust me, I do. I love being in my yard while my son and dog run around. I love walking around the park. Unfortunately, no matter how hard I try, I cannot get my ass to sleep before 1am. I think I’m just wired this way. Imagine making an owl do all of it’s stuff during the day. It would be cranky and tired too.

Now that I’m in my 40s, it’s pretty clear that my dream of being a full time artist and/ or singer is probably not going to happen. I’m grateful that I have time to do both and I’m also thankful for my daytime job that affords me these things. But in working full time… I have to walk with the day people. And I don’t feel like I fit in at all.