I finally sent my health insurance info to the rehab. They’ve been calling every day. I mean… it makes sense. You want to ride that wave when it comes in. I know how easy it is to just step back and be like “I don’t have a problem. I’m overreacting”… and start the cycle over. The cycles get shorter, and the highs and lows get sharper, and that’s when shit becomes unmanageable.
The weird thing is that right now, I’m looking forward to it. I’m looking at the next couple of weeks as my “goodbye tour” to alcohol and I’m honestly seeing rehab and sobriety as the light at the end of the tunnel. Is this temporary? Probably. But it’s been pretty strong for a couple of weeks now. In the past, it would last a couple of days.
I’ve started a new book/ online course called The Desire Map and it’s been inspiring thus far. It’s about getting to your heart and your feelings to plan your life. This is something I’ve been told to work on so I found it fitting.
In other news, I’m fucking tired. I drank wine last night. It’s almost like I’m trying to make myself sick of it.