Day 94, 2020

90 Days came and went without much fanfare. In quarantine, the days are all kind of melting into one long, boring day. I am incredibly thankful to be able to continue working and earning a salary. I have zero complaints.

I am, however, writing to you from my office which is about 20 minutes from my home. I had to get checks because we still have to pay the bills. and there are maybe 5 other people in this enormous building. I haven’t seen them. I just saw cars. This is the first time I’ve arrived at work in a velour tracksuit, sneakers, and a baseball cap… and ZERO makeup. I’d probably scare someone if they came in anyway. I also discovered some extra hand sanitizer I have at my desk. And my beloved Sprite Zeros. I’m taking those Sprites home and I am downright giddy,

I also got a bagel. I haven’t had a bagel in weeks. Everyone stood 6 feet+ apart. I was happy to be able to give some $$ to my favorite bagel shop. I Can’t even finish it. I forgot how big bagels are. (Like it’s been years lol).

Anyway, I’m experiencing this odd tiredness that everyone seems to be dealing with. It’s nearly impossible to get out of bed then again I’ve been staying up stupidly late. Doing nothing. Knitting, listening to audiobooks, watching Tiger King in its entirety. I really need to try going to sleep earlier. I talk about this all the time. It’s like my body is simply not made for that. I used to think it was the drinking but it turns out, it’s just how I am wired. Outside of that though, I’ve been tired during the day. Like needing a nap.

I read an article that this is associated with grief. I don’t know if that fits for me. Anxiety seems more likely. On high alert 100% of the time making sure I don’t touch anything or breathe. It’s exhausting.

I don’t know. I’m tired and I need to finish up what I’m doing.

Hope you’re staying well.

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