While we were away, I used the opportunity to binge on chips, have some ice cream, and drink all of the sweet frozen cocktails. I mean it. All of them. There are none left. I said I’d be back at healthy eating on Monday. Well, it’s Wednesday and it’s as good a day as any to re-start.
We had like no food in the house when we returned so I used that as an excuse to purchase some bagels and I already talked about the bagels. Today, I popped over to Aldi’s and grabbed some salad fixins.
Also – GET THIS…. I packed my gym bag. WHAT? Yes, my gym bag. WHAT? I’m planning on going to the gym after work. WHAT? Yeah, and I’m just gonna do a little treadmill and maybe a little rowing. Nothing too crazy. But I need to do something better than nothing.
OH – also I finished Stay Sexy, Don’t Get Murdered last night. I had pre-ordered it so I got it on the day it came out but I’ve been trying so hard to savor it and keep it going. It was so good. I am a big old fangirl. I’ve NEVER fangirled over ANYTHING. Seriously. NEVER. Until MFM. I’ll talk more about it some time. That might be fun.
Day 9 of the sugar detox and I’m feeling good. I finally got that allergy situation under control and I’m back to feeling the positive effects of this detox. I still do not have more energy. Low energy has ALWAYS been a problem for me. ALWAYS. Yes, I have chronic, clinical (aka Major) depression and yes I take meds for it. Yes, I have my thyroid checked every year and while I’m on the cusp, meds are not necessary. AND For the record, yes, I’ve tried them and they made me very shaky.
My theory about my energy problem? I’m a night person forced to live a daytime life. I used to joke about this but it’s the only thing that makes sense to me.
Throughout my adult life I have been trying desperately to appreciate the beauty of daytime. And trust me, I do. I love being in my yard while my son and dog run around. I love walking around the park. Unfortunately, no matter how hard I try, I cannot get my ass to sleep before 1am. I think I’m just wired this way. Imagine making an owl do all of it’s stuff during the day. It would be cranky and tired too.
Now that I’m in my 40s, it’s pretty clear that my dream of being a full time artist and/ or singer is probably not going to happen. I’m grateful that I have time to do both and I’m also thankful for my daytime job that affords me these things. But in working full time… I have to walk with the day people. And I don’t feel like I fit in at all.
I am successfully on Day 4 of my 21 Day Detox and honestly I feel really good and motivated. I had a killer headache this morning but that comes with the territory for a couple of days.
What does a night in the program look like for me? Well, a 20/20 marathon, knitting, and lots of unsweetened iced tea. It was a pretty good time. I had no FOMO and fought some small urges for sweet things (and wine). I did have a hard time falling asleep. I remember this happening last time. I’m hoping it will also dissipate after a few days.
Breakfast has primarily been mushroom and mozzarella omelettes. I am even allowed some roasted potatoes! It was delicious.
I forget where I saw the following idea, but it’s a hot dog on a sweet potato instead of a bun. I was pleasantly surprised that I felt like I was not missing out on a thing. With mustard and sauerkraut, it was SO satisfying. Sure, it was a pain in the ass to bake a sweet potato beforehand but going forward, I’ll probably just make one or two at a time. (I wasn’t sure how it was going to turn out and sweet potatoes are beloved in my home.)
I had a yummy salad for lunch, I’ve got grilled chicken with quinoa and brussels sprouts on the agenda tonight, and some deviled egg salad if I need an occasional snack.
Forgive me, internet, for I have sinned. It’s been about a week since my last post.
I think the last post about envisioning my “perfect” life, loosened up some things in my head. This is not about what I’m losing but what I’m gaining.
The day after writing that post, I went to bed early and then woke up early, had some tea and did some reading. It was a dream morning. I watched the drinks for the rest of the week and did not go overboard at any time.
On Monday, I started the 21 Day Sugar Detox program and I’ve been eating well, sleeping well, not drinking, and so far so good. I’ve done the program a couple of times before but never cut out alcohol. I’m also fully aware of the whole “pink cloud” situation. But I will take whatever this is. I’ll do my best and consider it a success to see this through as best I can.
I gave myself an out for a bridal shower this weekend and one free emergency pass. We’ll see. Maybe I won’t use them, but I feel better knowing that they are there. I’m hoping to become more aware and to re-learn how to get through my day without just floating away in a sea of wine.