Day 7

I’m really doing this. I’ve successfully stuck to my keto plan for 7 days now. I feel good. I feel full – almost TOO full because I’m not used to eating such rich foods. My friends said my skin looks good. I’m dealing with some fatigue and a headache today but it’s not terrible. The INSOMNIA though is making me a little nuts. I cannot fall asleep. I’ve read this is part of the process. Apparently your body gets low on serotonin and melatonin at first. I’ll be taking my trusty pill tonight in the hopes of having a full night’s sleep.

I was back at the gym today. I did a mile way faster than I did last week. I did some leg machines and some squats. Yesterday I had a crazy work day and then rehearsal so I only fit in a few free weight exercises for my arms. Better than nothing though.

I’m happy that I’m still feeling motivated. I’ll have to grab more salad fixings for the week on the way to work tomorrow. Since it’s a bit of a crazy week, I’ll have to figure out quick dinners. Yesterday I did a hard boiled egg and a shake with collagen peptides. I wound up having a late night snack of some salami and almonds.

I need to focus on fitting more veggies in. I’m definitely note eating enough. My salad is mainly lettuce and onions. I’m not a big raw veggie fan. Roasted cauliflower sand broccoli are a favorite but time is a factor this week. I have a show on Friday and we’re all putting in extra work to accommodate some last minute changes. It’s fine but I need a plan for eating on the go.

Show up.

Guys, I went to the gym yesterday. And I packed some clean gym clothes for this evening as well. I just did the treadmill and some beginner arm exercises but I’m proud of myself. Today, I plan to do the treadmill and some leg stuff. Nothing crazy. I need to build up some confidence first. As someone who hasn’t seen the inside of a gym in 6 months (and like a year prior to that brief stint), I’m taking it slow.

I think I get inspired and want to do all of the things and then I wind up totally derailing myself. I’m trying it differently this time. A big lesson I’ve learned in my life is that showing up is a BIG part of making progress.

As someone with anxiety and a trailer-full of other baggage, I can easily talk myself out of doing things. I’m too tired. I’m too out of shape anyway. I know I’m gonna quit by next week. Why bother. I never follow through. I’m gonna have a bagel instead. Fucking bagels.

As much as I whine and complain and try to excuse myself from going, I always feel 1,000,000% percent better (real math!) than I did before I walked in there. So, this week, I’m committing to simply showing up. Do a thing. Go home. It’s better than doing nothing at all.

Day 4

I am successfully on Day 4 of my 21 Day Detox and honestly I feel really good and motivated. I had a killer headache this morning but that comes with the territory for a couple of days.

What does a night in the program look like for me? Well, a 20/20 marathon, knitting, and lots of unsweetened iced tea. It was a pretty good time. I had no FOMO and fought some small urges for sweet things (and wine). I did have a hard time falling asleep. I remember this happening last time. I’m hoping it will also dissipate after a few days.

Breakfast has primarily been mushroom and mozzarella omelettes. I am even allowed some roasted potatoes! It was delicious.

I forget where I saw the following idea, but it’s a hot dog on a sweet potato instead of a bun. I was pleasantly surprised that I felt like I was not missing out on a thing. With mustard and sauerkraut, it was SO satisfying. Sure, it was a pain in the ass to bake a sweet potato beforehand but going forward, I’ll probably just make one or two at a time. (I wasn’t sure how it was going to turn out and sweet potatoes are beloved in my home.)

I had a yummy salad for lunch, I’ve got grilled chicken with quinoa and brussels sprouts on the agenda tonight, and some deviled egg salad if I need an occasional snack.

I’m feeling pretty stoked.

When I envision my perfect life, I see:

  • waking up early
  • cups of tea
  • a clean frigging house with minimal clutter
  • a more active lifestyle
  • feeling awake and motivated
  • more outdoor time
  • reading all of the books in a cozy bed
  • using my extra morning time for writing
  • having enough sleep and not oversleeping to avoid life
  • more museums and outings with our family
  • a beautiful home near a lake
  • woods on my property
  • dedicated art time

Most of these things are attainable. Waking up early requires that crazy little thing called will power that I lost somewhere along the way. With waking up early, comes several more items in the list. A clean frigging house could happen if I took the time to really declutter. I’ve been doing it piecemeal. I actually want to hire a home organizer. I’ve been dealing with being disorganized my whole life. So, the money I save on not buying 800 bottles of wine a year could easily go toward making that a reality.

We’ve been scoping out homes near lakes and I do believe I found “the one”. I feel like it won’t last and I’m trying to really motivate my husband to get on board. It’s really everything I’ve envisioned. It’s perfect. My heart will break if we don’t get it. That’s only happened a couple of times in the few years we’ve been casually looking.

Envisioning that home and it’s property full of trees and the view of the lake sounds so inspiring. A fresh start to only move what we will need. My husband has things from his childhood that he moves. I have a few special dolls and books. He has a garage full of stuff I have not even seen in our 11 years of marriage. So that will be a hurdle. But it’s do-able.

The main thing about this house is that it has a “she shed”. NOW… I HATE that term. I makes me cringe. But it’s gorgeous. A tiny little glass building that would be perfect for painting and writing. I am filled with butterflies even as I type this.

What comes to mind when you envision your perfect life?

Want. Need. Listening. Shit.

I had my ladies night on Saturday and I didn’t get too crazy. In fact, I got a headache. I’m not sure if it was from dehydration or from exhaustion but it was a doozy. I barely slept the night before due to the Pup wanting to go out, the little guy wanting to come in, and regular old general anxiety. I had a nice breakfast at the diner with the girls and then went home to complete some chores.

I went back down about 3:30 and had a few hard seltzer’s before the headache started it’s strangle hold. I just wasn’t feeling it. I wanted to go home but I felt bad, so I stayed. A beloved friend was in from out of state so I wanted to be sure I spent time with her. Unfortunately, it was getting to the point where no one was making sense and kind of talking over one another. Sometimes, I feel like I somehow missed the wave everyone else is surfing on and then I just can’t catch up. And ultimately I’m fine with that because I’m so tired. And cranky.

I had intended on staying over and really going for it, but I left around 1am and put my throbbing cranium on a pillow. It’s weird that I couldn’t just leave at like 9 or 10 when I wanted to. I always feel like I’m going to be seen as a jerk if I do that. And I have a crippling need to be liked. So this is what I do.

We had a nice family day on Sunday. Lots of outside time. Reading, My little guy and the dog running around the yard. We went out for dinner and I had a glass of wine but that was it. All night. I went to bed at a reasonable time after watching a Doris Day movie.

Tonight, I am struggling. I honestly do not WANT a drink but I’m craving one. Does that even make sense at all? Like… many body wants it. I guess that’s why they call it addiction (sung to Elton John’s song). It’s such a shit feeling. I’m sort of caught between “oh go have one” and “no, just ride it out. Prove something to yourself.”

The second one is yelling louder. I’m listening.

This is not a food blog.

I made some pretty good choices today. I worked from home so I was able to cook some healthy food. I’m not much of a cook. I mean… I like cooking but I rarely feel inspired to cook. It’s a hassle. I’m tired from running from one thing to another and I don’t feel like doing it. You know the feeling. But when I have some time, I do enjoy it.

I installed a meal plan app on my phone because I literally need to be told what to do when it comes to food otherwise I default to raccoon in a dumpster. This app gave me a handful of meals that are easy to prepare and leave leftover to enjoy for lunch or dinner the next day. So I’m not cooking every night. It sounds good.

This is one of my own creations. Fried egg on whole wheat English muffin with avocado.

As we know, I get really jazzed about things in the beginning and then revert back to the raccoon. I’m just saying that so you don’t call me out on it. It’s what I do. But this plan could be promising. The recipes looked like things I would actually eat and they are not complicated. You can rule out meat or gluten, etc when you’re searching for your plan. And all of the meals are healthy. No they are not paying me to say any of this. I simply want to share.

In keeping with my “baby steps” approach here, if I even substitute ONE meal a day with one of these meals, I’ll be greatly reducing my calorie intake. You guys would not believe the amount of french fries I have ingested this year alone. Unsupervised toddler. That’s me.

So my commitment for the week is ONE of these (or comparable) healthy meals each day. If I’m inspired to do all of them, cool. If not, I won’t give up and dive into the nearest garbage can.

Thai Turkey (Lettuce Wraps) via MealPlan.
I had mine with quinoa. The peanut sauce was impressive!!!