On Sunday, I had Coolsculpting done on my fat neck. As a 110 lb teenager, I had a double chin. As a… more pounds adult, it’s unbearable. This is not something I talk about. It is so upsetting and bothersome to me that I rarely ever even vocalize it. I’ll complain loudly about my pudgy stomach or wobbly arms, but I simply never speak about the chin.

I remember beginning to feel horrified when I was in middle school (or jr. high” as we called it). You know, the time when girls become aware of every perceived flaw on their bodies because of societal pressure, unrealistic standards of beauty, and other asshole kids who are dealing with their own insecurities by making fun of their classmates? That time? Yeah. That time.

I remember quickly going from happily stumbling along in life as a pudgy 12 year old who still played with Barbies to a wreck of a person who would never, ever, ever be good enough. There was a picture. My chin basically went from my jaw down to the middle of my chest. I am exaggerating but it’s like this horrible straight line. It’s hereditary for me on BOTH SIDES which is GREAT. I don’t see it in my whole family though. I notice it mostly on me.

So a friend had gotten Coolsculpting on their love handle area and survived so I started looking into it for my fat neck. I watched a bunch of videos of girls who barely had any fat under their chin getting the procedure. It seemed do-able. I’ve considered going in for a facelift which is ridiculously expensive and can thin out your skin and make you look like a mummified cat. So, in comparison, I figured what the heck. Let’s try this. I’ll try anything to not hate my fucking reflection.

So I went in. They attached an icy vacuum to one side of my neckchin for 45 minutes and then repeated on the other side. It was a little weird and uncomfortable but man, I had a C-Section. It was fine. 3 days later I have a weird numb tingly sensation if I touch the area but other than that, it’s not bad. It’s a very similar feeling to the nerve regeneration in my C-Section scar. It’s more strange than painful.

I’ve been bingeing on more videos of people who have had this procedure and also googling the shit out of “before and after” pictures. I’m gonna be honest, a lot of the results are minimal. That being said, the videos I watched showed women whose preoccupation with that area on their body I can relate with and they seemed to be really happy.

I won’t see results for a month or so. I’m trying to keep within my Weight Watchers points in the mean time. OMG and we have a new dog! I will update on that separately because I feel like a big piece of me has been lit up again. The reason I bring that up is because I’ve been walking a lot. Not great distances but I’m moving more than I was which is a step (HAHAHAH) in the right direction. I’m hilarious.

So yeah. I’m going to be patient with my numb chin. I hope to see results. If I see even a little, I’m not opposed to getting a second session. I’m getting ahead of myself.

Happy Autumn. It’s the most wonderful time of the year.